Everything is falling apart.

Everything is falling apart. Once bulimia was my best friend and a cure. It has helped me to be happy, to receive pleasure from the very emptiness inside. I felt at ease, I do not care. I was working. I liked to catch on his views of the opposite sex, and I knew that I look good, I wanted to dress up. It was the happiest year of my life, not looking at everyday enchanting extracting huge amount eaten .....
As time passed, the appetite was not lowered, and the procedures to do with the toilet I was so tired that hold in all the hours of 6 and even more. Of course, I gained weight. My life is going to hell, I'm on the verge of collapse. I have no desire to live, no wonder I was disappointed in himself, in the people .... everything was gray and predictable, all the actions and words as if scripted. I spend my whole time at home ... it's hard to go to college and just go down the street, but at home I feel the pressure. I have given up their studies, almost no friends. I was the soul of the companies, cheerleader, having fun in the clubs, has always been the initiator of some movements. Now, for me, few will remember, is only ".. and this one that much thinner, and then again became zhirtrest ...". I still keep in yourself. And not because I'm afraid that someone will tell me about my weight, no, I always have something to say and I will not stay in debt ..... but because I see the life of another, and do not trust the people, for all that that she is for many a man to whom they can turn for help. As they say, a shoemaker without shoes, so I togrovets shower without a soul.
Now I keep at the mercy of bulimia for almost 2 years. Anorexic diet  My height 175, weight to bulimia was 72, then I lost 50 in a very short time and was happy, now I long ago started to gain, and now I weigh 66. All that I write not for the fact that to feel sorry for me, no, it is low. I urge you not to bring yourself, a beautiful half of humanity, to the point where I am ... I have not slept for four days. And in this life I do not hold.
Thank you for your attention.